Stress due to frequent scolding by parents is a very common situation these days. Sometimes parents scolding only comes from their love for their children and their desire to get better. However, critical words from parents make children fall into stress, boredom and indirectly lead to sad consequences.
Why do children get stressed because their parents often scold them?
Most parents have scolded their children for many different reasons. This often happens when your child is lazy, makes mistakes, or has poor academic performance. Many parents believe that scolding will help their children to be aware of their mistakes and shortcomings to try to improve themselves better.
However, reality shows that many parents scold their children out of habit. They either don’t care about their child’s feelings or don’t find out if what happened is entirely their fault. Constantly yelling at your children unfounded or excessively can take a toll on your child’s morale.
When parents scold regularly, the common reaction of children is often boredom, sadness and self-pity. In particular, many children fall into a state of prolonged stress that affects their mental health and quality of life.
Stress because parents often yell can be caused by some of the following reasons:
- Hurt: When angry, parents can blame and criticize their children with inappropriate words. This hurts my soul. Children are often immersed in negative emotions such as boredom, pessimism, sadness, etc. Over time, children may experience stress, separation, separation from family, and even depression.
- Feeling weak and worthless: Children who are scolded by their parents often tend to become self-deprecating and shy. The reason is that children always think they are weak and useless, so they are scolded. This leads to psychological torment, self-blame and it is easy to fall into a state of stress.
- Fear of disappointing parents: The common mentality of children when being scolded is fear of disappointing their parents. This is a constant fear that puts children under pressure in everything. Over time, it will lead to stress, at this time children often have to face the heaviness and suffocation of psychology.
- Not being heard and understood: Or scolding children is one of the manifestations of toxic parents. These parents are often overly strict and disrespectful to their children. For adolescents and young people, if they do not receive listening, attention and understanding from their families, it is easy to fall into a state of stress. Moreover, it is possible to make wrong decisions in life.
- Stuffy family atmosphere: Parents who yell at their children can make the family atmosphere heavy and suffocating. This condition makes it difficult for children to avoid feelings of fatigue and stress. In addition, it also makes the distance between children and parents become more distant.
Signs children are stressed because parents often scold
As mentioned, parents scolding their children often will make the family atmosphere always in a state of tension and suffocation. Moreover, it also makes children more susceptible to stress or other psychological problems. However, the parents lacked interest, so they did not notice this.
Children who are stressed because their parents often yell at them often have the following symptoms:
- Children always feel heavy and tired when they return home
- Feeling pessimistic, sluggish and hopeless
- Always put pressure on yourself to be able to try and make more efforts. However, due to stress, both study and work did not get good results.
- Always afraid of being scolded, scolded and scolded by parents. Especially when the study results are poor or the job is unstable and the income is low.
- When facing difficulties in life, they often do not want to share with their parents. The barrier is the fear of being judged, criticized, or banned.
In addition, people who are stressed because of their parents’ scolding may also experience accompanying physical symptoms. For example, difficulty sleeping, insomnia, muscle tension, poor appetite, weight loss, etc. Even, some people have extreme reactions such as trembling, fear, fainting, … due to failing or failing exams. interview.
Stress because parents scold can make children “thinking around”
Currently, studying pressure, worries about grades or choosing a school, choosing a class plus frequent scolding by parents can make psychological disorders in students constantly increase. Even the state of children with depression today is reaching an alarming number.
From the parent’s point of view, most parents believe that scolding their children is the desire for their children to see their shortcomings and try to improve themselves. Even parents comparing their children to their peers is because they want their children to be as good as you. However, the problem is not as simple as parents think.
Yelling parents can put children in a state of stress. Even many children are forced by their parents to study too much, leading to an imbalance between intellectual activity and physical activity. This also affects sleep, activities and irregular eating.
Stress caused by parents for a long time will make children fall into a state of fatigue, reduce stamina and have many difficulties in regulating emotions. Depression, boredom, and loss of interest in things can lead to suicidal thoughts in children.
Parents should remember that the line between scolding and killing is very thin, it seems impossible to see the line. For parents, my words may be normal and out of concern, but for children, it is very bad and scary.
Physical wounds will eventually heal, but mental wounds do not know when to heal. Psychological influences can follow a child through a long period of development. It even increases the risk of psycho-psychiatric diseases in children with extremely serious consequences.
Stressed because parents often scold, what to do?
In fact, children are very easily stressed because their parents often scold. This causes fatigue and psychological heaviness. This condition persists without immediate remedial measures can cause many mental health problems. At the same time negatively affect learning performance as well as work.
Especially for children in the adolescent period, frequent scolding by parents can affect the child’s personality development. Moreover, it also increases the risk of serious psycho-psychiatric disorders.
Here are some measures to help improve stress because parents often yell:
1. Have a frank talk with your parents
When your parents yell at you often, the first thing you need to do is to talk frankly with your parents about this situation. During the conversation, you need to stay calm. At the same time, pay attention to good control of your own words.
Absolutely do not show extreme emotions when communicating with parents. Because this can make your parents think that you are angry and insolent. Therefore, it will be difficult for them to accept your offers. In addition, it is necessary to think carefully before discussing with parents.
When you talk, you need to let your parents understand that you are an adult and have the ability to be aware of right and wrong, right and wrong. Also know what to do and what not to do. Parents can give you advice, but don’t yell at your child. Especially when you don’t understand the bottom line of the matter.
In fact, due to the rigid concept of education in the past, many Vietnamese parents maintain the habit of controlling their children excessively and often scolding. However, when their children ask seriously, many parents tend to listen and adjust accordingly.
Try to talk to your parents and change their mind about how to raise their children. But living with a toxic parent often doesn’t work. At this point, stay calm and look for other solutions.
2. Share with teachers and friends
Sharing is a good habit to help you relieve stress and limit the repression of negative emotions. If you are often scolded by your parents, you can actively share with your teachers and friends. Their care will make you feel lighter. At the same time, it gives you more motivation to try to study and work to achieve better results.
In particular, when sharing with people with rich life experiences like teachers, you will often receive a lot of useful advice. From there, find a good solution to the problem that you are facing. Especially, they will know how to ask parents to stop yelling and nagging their children.
If you’re living with a toxic parent, caring from your teachers and friends will help motivate you even more. When you have the ability to be financially independent, you can completely choose to live on your own to get rid of the stress of being scolded by your parents.
3. Take measures to reduce stress
It will be very difficult to avoid stress when your parents scold you often. Sometimes you try very hard, but you still can’t change the parent’s mindset and parenting style. It is best to actively learn to deal with stress.
Measures to help you effectively relieve stress include:
- Take a deep breath: Feeling sad mixed with anger is what you often experience when being scolded by your parents. At this time, try to stay calm, absolutely do not get angry. Because your anger can make things worse. You need to take deep breaths to control your anger and regulate your breathing and heart rate.
- Listening to music: This is the hobby of many young people today. However, to effectively relieve stress, you should choose cheerful music. Absolutely do not listen to songs with sad, melancholy rhythms. Music has been shown to help calm the mind and relax.
- Drink herbal tea: Some herbal teas such as chamomile, cinnamon, rosemary, mint, etc. are very good for mental health. They contain natural scents and high levels of antioxidants. Thereby helping to relieve stress, relax the mind and support better sleep.
- Keep a diary: Whenever you feel tired and stressed by the criticism, blame and scolding of your parents, you can keep a journal. This is a simple way to get rid of negative emotions very effectively. However, you should not re-read these diary pages after writing, you can tear them up for better emotional release.
4. Make an effort to assert yourself
Many parents have used the excuse that their children are incompetent and incompetent to blame and criticize. Therefore, in order to overcome the stress of being scolded by your parents, you need to make an effort to assert yourself. From there, your parents have no reason to scold you anymore.
If you are sitting in school, try to study hard to get good results. Pay attention to study plan, balance between study time, play and rest. You can study in groups to easily overcome your own weaknesses and help each other improve.
If you have a job, work hard, always learn and improve. The initial salary may be low, the job may not be stable, but you should not be pessimistic and depressed. All your efforts today will be rewarded with results tomorrow.
You can arrange time to attend some more courses to improve professional capacity. At the same time, pay attention to self-adding necessary soft skills. The effort to assert yourself is a long process that requires consistency and constant effort.
5. Take care of yourself and cultivate your health
Prolonged stress not only affects mental health but also causes physical decline. Therefore, in addition to talking with your parents to solve problems, you need to pay attention to taking good care of your health.
Pay special attention to the following issues:
- Make sure to eat in moderation, absolutely avoid fasting, skipping meals or eating in moderation. It is necessary to provide adequate nutrients for the body. Especially the ingredients that are good for the brain and nerves. For example, foods rich in zinc, iron, magnesium, B vitamins, etc.
- Balance between study, work and rest time. Pay attention to good sleep care. You should go to bed before 11 pm and make sure to sleep at night for at least 6 hours. Get 7-8 hours of sleep every day.
- Spend at least 30-45 minutes a day in physical activity. Regular exercise not only helps to improve overall health, but also helps relieve stress, relax and repel negative emotions.
Even if your parents scold or treat you badly, you need to always love and know how to take care of yourself. This is a very important and necessary skill in life to help you have a good health foundation.
6. Seeking help
In many cases, your parents can’t keep their cool while yelling. They may even have a history of anger management or domestic violence.
If you feel that your parent’s yelling is more likely to turn into physical abuse, seek help. It could be from grandparents, teachers or even neighbors. This is essential when you see that your parents are “toxic parents”.
Being stressed because parents often scold is a very common situation. It is necessary to take early remedial measures to minimize the risk problems arising. Because prolonged stress accompanied by frequent scolding from parents can lead to depression and many other psycho-mental health problems.