Women’s psychology after divorce is often complicated and falls into a deep crisis. This has an adverse effect on both health and quality of life. You need to be strong, let go of the past and get ready for a better new life.
Evolution of women’s psychological crisis after divorce
We all hope for a good and lasting relationship with the person we love. No one goes into a marriage and just expects it to fail. However, in many cases, things can turn out in ways that each of us does not expect.
The breakdown of a marriage, for whatever reason, leaves a lot of consequences. It is the pain and loss of both husband and wife. Although divorce can help both physically and mentally, divorce is also more or less painful for the people involved in many aspects. Such as the risk of depression, boredom, hopelessness or reduced life expectancy.
In fact, women after divorce will often have more disadvantage than men. Women face double difficulties, have to struggle to shoulder the responsibility of raising children and are always under financial pressure. Moreover, they are disadvantaged psychologically, emotionally as well as work performance. In particular, women after divorce are often less likely to remarry than men.
Here are the psychological developments of women after divorce:
1. Loneliness always surrounds
Many people believe that women after divorce are often comfortable and happy because they have relieved their burdens. However, the truth is quite the opposite, even though they are released from the irretrievable relationship, they still have to fight very intensely psychologically.
Surrounded by loneliness is the common psychology of many women after divorce. When you dig deep, everything is not too difficult to explain. When you are alone in a familiar house, you will inevitably feel a sense of uncertainty, thinking about the old story.
The bed also became more empty, no longer the warmth of the old person – who used to cuddle his pillow. When you get used to the feeling of being together, having to face everything alone will create an uncomfortable feeling.
Especially when going out or going anywhere to see couples holding hands, laughing and talking happily, the women after the divorce will be a little moved. However, the feeling of loneliness that invades the soul the most is still at night, when the bed is alone.
Women’s psychology after divorce is that when they are lonely, they often go out with friends. There are also people who look to the breath that gives them a sense of comfort to forget their sadness. A few others find a temporary shoulder or a love affair to fill the loneliness in their hearts.
2. Afraid to contact and talk to men
As society is developing, people who go through marriage no longer have to bear too much pressure from outsiders. They are less likely to be scrutinized and ridiculed. People around are also gradually getting used to divorced couples.
However, not all are positive changes. Some people still consider divorce is not advisable and point derision and derision towards the woman. Especially for Vietnamese people, there is still a thought that respects men and despises women. Therefore, after each divorce, women are often blamed more.
In the face of harsh criticism, the weak soul of a woman is also more vulnerable. They inadvertently make women lose confidence and live more closed lives. Women’s psychology after divorce is afraid to share and communicate with others, especially with men.
3. Worry about the pressures in life
Any woman after a divorce will have to face financial problems. Because when entering marriage, women always think that they have a husband to protect them, when in trouble, there is always someone to accompany them. However, after the divorce, you will have to take care of everything yourself.
Bewilderment, anxiety and insecurity are the psychology that women often go through after divorce. Because the pressure of rice, rice, money is never a light burden. Especially when you already have children and gain custody of them after divorce, the pressure will multiply.
You will always have to think about how to give your child the best life. At the same time, always try to make up for the loss and deprivation of the child. However, do not be pessimistic, turn pressure into motivation, work hard to have a stable income.
4. Feeling sorry for the family
In a marriage, women often have to put on their shoulders many expectations from the family in cultivating happiness. Women always “must” have the obligation to sacrifice themselves for their husbands and children.
Then when they get a divorce, expectations will also be extinguished. This can hurt some family members. The woman also became guilty and felt that she did not live up to the family’s expectations.
Especially in religious families, people are very dissatisfied and “disgusted” about divorce. This also greatly affects the psychology of women after divorce. Guilt will always be overwhelming, making it difficult for women to think clearly and have a positive direction.
5. Resentment of the ex – Women’s psychology after divorce
There are marriages that come to a dead end due to disputes or betrayals. The trauma that women have to go through is immeasurable. Therefore, after the divorce, many women still see their ex-husband as an enemy and the mentality of resentment is always present.
In their eyes, they always see the old person as evil and bad. Even many women curse to let their ex face risks in life. However, resentment only makes your psyche heavier.
Always thinking about your ex and the past with a negative mood makes it difficult to focus on your own life. Therefore, if you want to help yourself be happier after the divorce, you should forget the bad guys or the bad things they did to you.
6. Fear of not finding new people
Women after a fall in marriage will often be afraid of going astray, going down the same path. Once you fall, you will be afraid for the rest of your life. After the divorce, the common psychology of many women is that they do not dare to open their hearts to love another man.
After divorce, women often never see the pink door of a happy marriage again. The stereotype of “one husband woman” makes them afraid. They fear that the next man to come to them is not true love.
Moreover, for women who are raising children alone, they are also afraid that the new person will not love their child. They keep wandering around in thoughts with no way out, afraid that they will not find any more happiness.
However, remember, not all men in this world are bad. Give yourself the right to choose wrong and be ready to choose again. Just because your ex doesn’t value you doesn’t mean you can’t find a better new one.
7. Psychological discomfort
Whether you are a man or a woman, there are physiological needs. However, the psychology of women after divorce is often timid and dare not let go of themselves like men. They are often less interested in street relationships or “one-night stands”.
After divorce, women are often single for quite a long time. They don’t touch, learn, or start a new relationship. This makes them unable to resolve their sexual desires and creates an easily angered and angry mentality. Especially when you see other people making love to each other.
Women’s psychology after divorce with the problem of remarriage
After a divorce, women need to take a long time to heal the trauma left by the old marriage. After that, many women continue to think about remarriage with the hope that they can find new happiness. New life will certainly have many difficulties, but if they know how to hold it, they can find true happiness.
However, women after divorce often remarry later than men for many different reasons. May include:
- Think about children: In most cases after divorce, women will take custody of their children, especially when the children are young. Because their children have to suffer many disadvantages, sometimes their thought of remarriage is “stagnated”. Sometimes they may have found a good object and a good opportunity for themselves, but because they think of their children, they do not dare to go forward.
- Prolonged trauma: As analyzed, the psychological development of women after divorce is much more complicated than that of men. Women often find it difficult to forget their old marriage, always feel lonely, bored and hurt. Prolonged trauma causes their feelings to gradually harden with the opposite sex. This makes their remarriage issue never easy.
- The gaze from others: Women are always more interested in the eyes of those around them than men. The antiquated view of women in Vietnamese society is still relatively heavy so far. Therefore, women who want to remarry after divorce often have to struggle a lot. In particular, it is easier for a man to remarry with an unmarried daughter than for a woman to remarry with a “virgin boy”.
How to recover psychologically for women after divorce
Women’s psyche after a divorce can fall into a state of instability, feeling lost and broken in the first few months. Even for many people, it takes years of trying to get their lives back on track. In fact, it is not easy for women to recover psychologically after divorce.
However, life still has to go on. And you should remember, never allow a divorce to ruin the good things. Women need time to recover psychologically and put life back on track.
Here are some useful tips to help women recover psychologically after divorce:
- Don’t hesitate to ask for help: Don’t try to be strong, suppress your emotions, and pretend that your best friend is okay. People around you may not fully understand what you have to go through. However, they can help you a lot if you share. Remember, family and friends are always there to help you get back on track.
- Learn to let go: To soon forget painful memories of a broken marriage, you need to learn to let go. Just get rid of the things that are no longer valuable for the present and the future, you will gradually reduce the negative thoughts in your mind.
- Keep yourself busy: It may take some time for you to recover from the trauma of divorce. In order not to wallow in painful memories, it is important to keep yourself busy. You can distract yourself by spending more time at work, taking up new activities and hobbies.
- Find yourself: If you’ve been married for a long time, it can take a long time to adjust to being single again. Instead of regretting the things you gave up, you should find yourself and try to do the things that you really want. Pursuing your passion can help you feel happier and more relaxed.
- Take time to travel: Changing the environment can help ease psychological trauma. If you have the opportunity, you should take the time to travel, whether it is a short-term or long-term trip. Exploring and experiencing will give you more opportunities to start a new and better life.
- Give yourself time: The pain may never really go away, but give yourself time to heal. Time will help you cope better with what happens as a result of the divorce. Always believe that one day you will find yourself ready to move on.
- Focus on the important things: Instead of focusing on the hatred, you need to focus your attention on the important things. If you have children, use them to motivate and inspire you to work hard. Then give them what they need. If you don’t have kids then focus on the goals you want to achieve.
- Try to Forgive: Holding onto anger and grudges really doesn’t help you. Try to forgive yourself and others. Don’t blame yourself every time you think about a failed marriage. Everything that happens has a cause. What you need to do is get comfortable with what has happened and get ready for the new life that lies ahead.
- Don’t close your heart: After a broken marriage, many women tend to stay closed and do not want to open their hearts. Don’t be like that, give yourself permission to meet new people. At the same time be ready to accept the opportunity to love and be loved again.
Women who remarry after divorce are happy?
Compared to girls who have just married for the first time, women who have experienced a breakup will clearly see the nature of marriage as well as understand their own responsibilities. In fact, divorced women who remarry are generally happier.
Here are 4 reasons why women who remarry after divorce often find true happiness:
- See clearly the nature of marriage: Marriage is not just a transition of just two people. It also belongs to two families and is associated with society, including the responsibilities involved. Women who have experienced a breakdown can understand their responsibilities and understand the diverse roles they need to fulfill.
- Understand how to manage marriage: When entering a new marriage, a woman will surely understand that marriage is another start to a long journey. From the lessons of their previous marriage, they will learn how to manage their marriage. This helps both you and your partner find balance and happiness.
- Pay more attention to your partner: The remarried woman often goes through a period of indifference to her partner’s feelings. They will better understand their role in the marriage and change for the better. They also know how to listen and pay more attention to their new partner.
- More mature: A woman after a broken marriage will usually no longer be pressured by issues such as getting married before the age of 30, having to give birth early, etc. After a failed marriage, they will become more mature , understand where the true value of marriage lies and know how to love yourself more.
Women’s psychology is often much more complicated than men’s psychology after divorce. The emotional wounds of women can last long, affecting both health and life. However, please believe that life still needs to go on and divorce is not the end of life. Try to bounce back, don’t let fear stop you from finding your own happiness.