The general mentality of men after a divorce is to feel comfortable and free, but this is only the initial feeling. After a while, they themselves will have to face scattered, negative emotions and even fall into a psychological crisis.
The real face in the psychological development of men after divorce
After a divorce, couples will have to face psychological trauma. Even many people have to go through post-divorce psychological trauma because of the great loss when their marriage breaks down.
Many people think that only women are sad and think a lot after divorce. But in fact, men also face many concerns and worries when their marriage ends. Unlike women, men rarely show true emotions – especially negative emotions such as pessimism, sadness, pain, etc.
In fact, very few people understand the psychology of men after divorce except themselves. They hid all their negative emotions inside and always pretended to be completely fine after the divorce. However, suppressing emotions makes it difficult for men to overcome obsessions about previous marriages and takes a long time to adjust to a new life.
Basically, each person’s psychology will be different depending on personality, age and circumstances. But in general, men after divorce will have the following psychological development:
1. At first, there will be a feeling of comfort and freedom
After divorce, most men feel comfortable and free. Because in married life, they have to be more or less controlled by their partner. In addition, the responsibility to the family and the two sides also makes many men feel uncomfortable and tired.
When the marriage ends, men can freely meet friends without worrying about the time. Moreover, when alone, men will be more comfortable financially and can directly manage their own income.
In most families, the wife will have the habit of reminding her husband and children. However, this habit makes many husbands feel tired. After a divorce, men will feel comfortable because they no longer have to listen to repeated reminders and complaints. The first period is the time when men are really free and enjoy life.
2. Alternating feelings of disappointment and regret
After a while, the feeling of freedom and comfort gradually disappeared, replaced by regret and disappointment. This mentality forms when men feel the absence of the wife’s presence. They start to have to do everything alone from cooking, cleaning the house, washing clothes, shopping, etc.
When men do these things on their own, they understand the sacrifices of their partners even more. Therefore, they gradually form a mentality of regret and disappointment. Partly because they are not used to the single life, the other part is because they are aware that they have underestimated the responsibility of the wife.
The feeling of disappointment and regret will deepen over time if a man accidentally loses a good wife due to stubbornness and unfaithfulness. In contrast, in cases of divorce due to the wife’s fault, men themselves will also have regrets, but this feeling will pass quickly. What they regret sometimes is not their partner, but the good times and the expectations of marriage being completely extinguished.
3. Keep yourself busy
After only a short time since the divorce, men will feel the emptiness due to the loss of the partner’s presence. They constantly meet friends and plunge into work to forget the past marriage.
If only looking at the outside, people think that they are enjoying a free life. However, only they themselves deeply understand the emptiness and brokenness inside. In the case of divorce when men no longer have feelings for them, they have almost no feelings of sadness.
4. Mental instability
Compared with women, men are less able to adapt, although women are often weak, sensitive and post-divorce. Men have almost no skills in cooking, cleaning the house, doing laundry, etc., so they will face many embarrassments when they return to a single life.
The troubles in life plus the feeling of emptiness and brokenness will make men’s psychology after divorce become unstable. On the outside they will keep a calm face but inside is a series of torn emotions. Sometimes, they get angry and irritable for no good reason.
Post-divorce mental instability will last from a few months to a year or more. However, in terms of extent, women’s morale is more depressed. When faced with a broken marriage, many women suffer from anxiety disorders, depression, etc. Meanwhile, men only always feel sad and rarely suffer from psychological and mental problems.
5. Excessive alcohol use
Psychological instability makes men after divorce spend a lot of time having fun, meeting and most of them use alcohol excessively. Using alcohol is a way to release unhealthy emotions, men often turn to alcohol when they have a confession and cannot express their feelings to those around them.
Basically, men lack more life skills than women. Therefore, instead of choosing to relieve themselves by sharing with relatives and friends, they often suppress their emotions and drink alcohol to forget their loneliness and emptiness.
6. There’s a nagging feeling of loneliness
After experiencing overwhelming emotions, men after a divorce will experience a persistent feeling of loneliness. Unlike women, men are not nearly as comfortable being alone. They always need someone by their side to talk to and help with housework.
The absence of a wife makes men after a divorce have an impatient mentality and want to find other relationships. This is also the reason why men often remarry faster than women. Another reason leading to the feeling of loneliness in men after divorce is high physiological needs.
7. Forget about the old marriage
Compared to women, men forget faster. After going through a series of emotions, they will quickly immerse themselves in the new joy and forget about the old marriage. Moreover, men after divorce still have many opportunities. When they no longer have problems with family and children, they themselves can advance quickly and achieve great achievements.
Many people confess that they are attracted to divorced men. These people often have a lot of life experience, financial stability, ingenuity and maturity. Therefore, men after divorce will forget the broken marriage after only a few years.
Advice for men after divorce
Men’s psychology after divorce will be less complicated than women’s. Because men basically have a strong personality, little thought and not too sensitive. However, to overcome this difficult period, men can refer to the following useful tips:
- You need to be mentally prepared before getting a divorce. Ending a marriage for any reason will leave deep wounds for yourself, your partner and your children. So, psychological preparation will help you get through the divorce more easily.
- Learn to share with others about your feelings and thoughts. Sharing with others is an effective way to release emotions, and helpful advice from friends will also help you find balance quickly.
- Divorce will leave emotional scars. Therefore, it is advisable to equip yourself with stress-relieving skills and relaxation measures to be able to calm down after a short time.
- Towards a healthy lifestyle, avoiding alcohol, tobacco and binge eating.
- Equip yourself with the necessary skills to be able to adapt to single life.
- Understand that divorce is not such a bad thing. Ending an unhappy marriage is an opportunity for both of them to find more ideal partners and experience the missed pleasures.
- Make sure you really forget your ex and are ready for a new relationship. Do not look for objects because you feel empty or simply want to make up for the loneliness in your heart.
Men after divorce often remarry faster than women
In fact, men after divorce tend to remarry faster than women. It is because of this that many people assume that men do not grieve despite the fact that they can fall into a psychological crisis.
As analyzed, men’s psychology after divorce may feel lonely, depressed and mentally unstable. After a period of recollection, they have the right to seek new happiness for themselves. And this is also a way to help them quickly recover from injury.
Generally, after a divorce, men tend to remarry faster than women for the following reasons:
- Fear of doing everything: Men are often clumsy with household chores as well as organization and time management. Especially after a while having a wife to take care of everything. Therefore, after a divorce, they always need a new person to fill the void left by their ex-wife.
- Fear of loneliness: Loneliness is a common emotion in men’s psychology after divorce. Because of this, they may be tempted to find someone new to relieve the boredom of being alone.
- Quickly forget the old marriage: As mentioned, it usually only takes a few years for men to forget their old marriage as well as overcome the psychological crisis after divorce. At this time, they will easily go to conquer another person and have a new life.
- Physiological needs: Men always have high physiological needs and their ability to abstain from “sex” is also much worse than women. Sex is considered one of the most important needs of men. Therefore they soon want to remarry to satisfy this need.
Men’s psychology will be different from women’s after divorce. Hopefully, through the article, readers have somewhat understood the psychology of men after their marriage broke down. However, the information in the article is for reference only, because each person’s psychology and emotions will be markedly different depending on many different factors.
