Being teased by friends has a profound effect on a child’s psyche. At first, children will become shy, timid, withdrawn and can develop psychological problems if not treated promptly.
Why are children often teased by their friends?
During school life, children are often teased by friends. At first, teasing acts were just jokes to create fun. However, children may also face teasing of a serious nature. At school age, most children are not aware of the weight of words and teasing behavior on the psyche. Many children carelessly use other people’s shortcomings to discuss and laugh at.
Being teased by peers has a profound psychological effect on children and has a significant impact on learning. However, children receive little instruction in the skills to deal with and overcome this situation. Children of each age will have different ways of bullying and teasing, but in general, children tease others just for pleasure and self-affirmation.
There are many reasons why children are teased by friends, in which personality traits and many deficiencies in learning and life skills are the most common causes. Some of the reasons why children become the object of teasing are:
- Shy, self-deprecating, passive personality
- Frequent bed-wetting, untidy clothes, poor personal hygiene, etc.
- Difficult family situation
- Incomplete family (loss of parents or divorce)
- Children are an ethnic minority with unsightly appearance, a difficult voice, and are easily teased by friends
- Children with poor pronunciation, slurred voice
- Children who are thin, sick, or chubby
- The appearance is not good-looking and has some defects such as skin diseases, curly hair, etc.
- Poor academic performance, often criticized and criticized by teachers in front of the class
It can be seen that the children who are bullied are mostly disadvantaged in terms of family background, appearance and academic achievement. Meanwhile, children who tease and bully other children often have rich families and good looks. In addition, some children with tall stature and aggressive personalities also tend to tease small, weak children in the class.
In fact, there are some children who study very well and are obedient but still get teased. In this case, the cause may be due to jealousy or conflict because the child does not accept only their classmates’ work during the test. In addition, students with good results are often trusted by their teachers and assigned certain tasks. This is also the reason why children become the object of bullying and teasing by disruptive students.
How does being teased by friends affect children’s psyche?
The teasing behaviors and words at the allowable level usually do not affect the child’s psyche much. On the contrary, this is also a way for children to equip themselves with skills to handle situations and learn to control emotions. However, if the teasing happens often, the child’s psyche will be significantly affected.
Children who are teased by friends will have many psychological disturbances. If the family does not pay attention, the child will face serious psychological trauma. To take appropriate remedial measures, parents need to understand the psychological effects of children when they are ridiculed and ridiculed by friends.
1. Become shy, passive
Some children have shy and self-deprecating personalities and are teased by their peers. However, there are also some bright and cheerful children who become passive because they are often laughed at by their friends. When friends target a child’s flaws such as an ugly face, curly hair, chubby body, thin skin, dark skin, etc., children will gradually have low self-esteem and think that they are inferior to everyone else.
Many children are withdrawn and have little interaction with friends because they are afraid that what they say will be the point for others to laugh at and tease. At this time, children will also be afraid to express themselves and not dare to voice their opinions. Even many children are obsessed with their own body, hair, skin color and voice.
2. Fear of not wanting to go to school
When faced with teasing behavior from friends, children always feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, and scared. Thus, the child may express a desire not to go to school. However, families often confuse this expression with the psychology of boredom and laziness. If you pay attention, parents will notice that children are traumatized by their friends’ constant teasing of fear and anxiety when talking about school.
At school age, children should have a cheerful and optimistic personality because they do not have to worry too much about life. However, children who are bullied and teased are often afraid to go to school, they do not get any joy from learning and do not share stories from school with their families.
3. Influence on the learning process
Psychological fear, anxiety and shame when being teased by friends makes children uncomfortable and reduces concentration when studying. Families will easily notice a significant decrease in the child’s results even though the child is still working hard and shows no signs of being lazy to study. Because psychological discomfort will make children learn first, forget later and poorly absorb the teacher’s lectures.
4. Lack of confidence in yourself
Children who are often teased tend to lack confidence in themselves. Because defects such as fat, flat nose, dark skin, curly hair, lisp, … are the points that children carve to laugh at and tease young children.
Although other children sometimes have no malice, the frequent words and acts of teasing will make children always feel guilty about their own shortcomings and forget that they also have many strengths. Lack of self-confidence makes children face many difficulties in life and it is very difficult to succeed in the future. Therefore, families need to pay attention to psychology and guide their children with some necessary skills in addition to the knowledge taught at school.
5. Increased risk of psychological problems
In recent years, the percentage of children with psychological problems has increased significantly. Among them, the most common causes are academic pressure, parental pressure, excessive control, and bullying and teasing by friends. In fact, many children have expressed to their families that they are teased by friends, but adults think that teasing is a child’s problem, not worth worrying about.
Without receiving sympathy from the family, children will gradually withdraw and live separately. Children will tolerate bullying, teasing, and even violence from friends on their own without even telling their family. Because children think that their parents will continue to react the same way and the only thing they get in return is disappointment.
If the family does not detect it early, the psychological trauma of being teased by friends will develop into psychological problems such as:
- Depression in students
- Anxiety disorders
- Social anxiety disorder
- Self-Harm, Syndrome
- Eating disorder (usually occurs with children who are teased by friends because of their fat body)
- Bad fear syndrome
- Behavioral disorders
- Causes distortions in the process of personality formation and children are likely to have personality disorders
There are many cases of children hitting back at their friends or taking some kind of revenge because of anger that has accumulated over a long period of time. Before the incident, most parents have the first reaction to blame and criticize their children. Very few people calm down and ask their children the root cause. Inappropriate behavior and educational methods are indirect causes of serious psychological harm to children.
Overcoming psychological trauma when being teased by friends
The psychological trauma of children when being teased by friends is a barrier that makes it difficult for them to study, develop themselves and lose joy in life. In severe cases, children may face psychological problems such as depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, etc. Timely support of the family will help children overcome psychological trauma and know How to deal with teasing from friends.
When discovering that their child is being bullied by friends, parents can apply some of the following handling methods:
1. Talk with your child and discuss with the teacher
First, parents should talk to their children to understand the teasing behaviors that children have to endure. During the conversation, parents need to stay calm and reassure the child. Avoid expressing anger and blaming why your child lets his friends tease him, why he doesn’t take action or actively inform the teacher.
More than anyone, children are the most hurt when being teased by friends. Therefore, parents must behave so that children see that family is always a solid support that children can rely on when facing difficulties in life. Need to create trust for children so that they can share the top of things.
After listening to the incident from the child, parents should discuss with the teacher to find a solution. If the matter is not too serious, the homeroom teacher will discipline the child for bullying and teasing. In case of necessity, the administration will have to handle the incident to avoid long-term effects on students.
Notifying teachers will help the matter be handled early, thereby helping children quickly stabilize their minds and learn in a healthy environment.
2. Improve the points that are often teased by friends
Young children are not aware of personal hygiene and proper dress. Therefore, children can be teased and teased by other children. Unlike adults, children do not know how to behave and are subtle in their words, so if they don’t change, they will continue to be teased by their friends even if they change schools.
Parents should guide their children on how to maintain personal hygiene to keep their body smelling fresh and clean. Encourage your child to bring some items to use when needed such as tissues, alcohol hand sanitizer, mouthwash, etc. In addition, it is necessary to educate children to dress properly and decently when going to school. For girls, parents also need to guide them to choose the right hairstyle for their age.
Besides, families need to help their children improve some other problems such as slurred speech, obesity, poor academic performance, etc. Changing these things not only helps children overcome psychological trauma when being teased by friends. but it also helps children to be healthier and more confident. When you have many strengths, your child will have confidence in himself and know that the teasing behavior of his friends is not his fault at all.
3. Assert yourself through academic achievement
Good academic achievement helps children become more confident in life, easily make friends and get rid of the teasing behavior of friends. With excellent academic performance, children will have many friends so they rarely pay attention to teasing words and behaviors. Many children are depressed after being teased by their friends and have the mentality of not wanting to go to school. Parents should comfort, encourage and encourage their children to know that other people’s wrongdoing is never their fault.
Encourage your child to use the recent incident as a motivation to learn to assert themselves instead of fear and anxiety. Parents should talk softly and show children that family will always be there for them no matter what. At first, children find it difficult to find joy in learning. Therefore, families need to accompany their children, and at the same time pay attention to their strengths and limitations.
Each child’s ability is different. However, with the support of the family, the child’s academic achievement will certainly improve more or less. Good academic results help children realize that they are fully capable and have the right to be treated fairly. In addition, it is advisable to stimulate the spirit of eagerness to learn to direct children to good qualities and help them create a bright future.
4. Teach your child how to handle when you tease
To avoid a repeat situation, parents should guide their children how to handle when you tease. First, help children learn to control their emotions and stay calm. Encourage your child to talk directly to the bully and ask the other person to stop the teasing immediately. If the other party does not compromise, the child should inform the homeroom teacher and family.
Encourage children to share difficult problems in life with parents and siblings. Families also need to change their harsh and excessively imposing ways of education that make their children shy and less willing to share – especially during puberty. Dealing with being teased by friends is an important skill for students. When well-equipped, children can actively prevent this situation and help other students overcome negative teasing.
5. Consider transferring schools
If the child is deeply traumatized, the family should consider transferring schools. Unlike adults, it is difficult for children to overcome their obsessions and normalize their lives after experiencing a traumatic event. Therefore, it is advisable for your child to change schools so that they can study in a healthy environment.
Transferring schools is only a temporary solution for children to forget the hurt of being teased and bullied. Parents should equip their children with the necessary skills to face and overcome unexpected situations. With that, the new bullying situation does not continue to recur.
6. Psychotherapy – Healing trauma when friends tease
Young children are very vulnerable because they are not psychologically sensitive and do not have enough awareness to objectively assess the situation. Many bullied children think that they are inferior to others in many ways and ugly, so they deserve to be treated like this. This mentality causes children to become self-deprecating, shy, withdrawn and likely to develop psychological problems.
If necessary, the family should give the child psychotherapy. This method helps children overcome psychological trauma, learn to control emotions and find balance in life. Besides, experts will also help children equip necessary skills to be more proactive and know how to handle unexpected situations in life.
Being teased by friends affects a child’s psyche. The degree of impact will depend on the nature of the behavior and how long the child has to deal with the teasing. In addition to the concerns about the health and learning of the child, the family also needs to accompany the child to overcome the difficult problems in life.