Adultery in the idea of whether to forgive, if any, how to atone and mend the relationship is one of the things that is always controversial. Many people believe that adultery, if it is only in the mind, has not gone beyond the limit, so it can still be completely ignored. However, for some people, whether it’s done or just happened in the mind, this is still a betrayal and cannot be forgiven.
Adultery in thought should be forgiven?
It should be clearly stated that adultery, whether done or just appeared in the mind, is always wrong, there can be no excuse for it. You can’t say that because the wife nags a lot, talks too much, the wife doesn’t understand me or the husband is too careless, so he accidentally “falls in love” with others. Even if your partner is a bad person, if you yourself have thoughts and feelings about others when the relationship has not ended, the wrong person is still you.
A person who has an affair in his mind often tends to torment himself a lot. They both think they did nothing wrong by giving a series of excuses but at the same time become easily irritated and annoyed with their partner. They always give dozens of reasons to change themselves, compare their partner with a third person and get deeper and deeper into these wrong feelings.
However, if these feelings just stop at the level of thinking, there is no action beyond the limit, should the adulterers in thought be forgiven? In fact, this depends on many factors, the most important of which is the thought of the spouse, but cannot confirm anything.
For example, if both have been together for too long, love each other too much, they can accept tolerance so that their partner has the opportunity to correct their mistakes. However, there are those who think that, even if it only happens in the mind, it is a betrayal and they themselves cannot accept it and decide that it is impossible to forgive knowing the truth.
Adultery in the thought of whether to forgive or not, one of the prerequisites is how big the feelings of both are. In fact, there are many situations where a spouse knows that his or her partner is changing, thinking about someone else. However, they completely believe in their partner, believing that he/she is someone who knows right from wrong, knows right from wrong and will stop at the right time.
However, if the spouse already knows the fact that the first person who cuddles with them every day is thinking about another person, it can become a big attack that creates a big barrier for both of them. When trust is broken, if you later do something wrong, accidentally look at another person, they can completely bring this out to criticize, to torment you. Thus, you yourself cannot end the series of days of sin but become more and more miserable, but there is no way to refute it.
In addition, in order to answer adultery in the thought of whether to forgive, it is also necessary to consider the level of the relationship, which is the unrequited feelings from one side or both have gone further. For example, there are people who have started an ideological affair by talking online, but have not met in real life, but there are also people who dive deeper, start chatting and meeting privately.
In fact, in the couple’s relationship, there are times when there are arguments that make the atmosphere suffocating for both, suddenly someone comes to the side and shares difficulties and sadness, a slight heatstroke is also inevitable. . If you just stop at a “slight heatstroke”, have not had any interactions or encounters outside, know when to stop at the right time, you can still be forgiven.
In addition, it is also necessary to consider the attitude of the ideological adulterers to know whether to forgive or not. Many people know to stop at the right time, know how to sincerely atone for their sins by caring and taking care of their spouse more. However, there are also people who are wrong, but still blame their spouse for this and that, so they change like that, so it is unforgivable.
In general, adultery in the mind whether to forgive or not is still a very unpredictable question and only the insiders can answer. The most important thing is that after forgiveness, both can mend the relationship as before, give each other the opportunity to correct the mistake or not. Ideally, both of you should sit down, honestly share the problems with each other, thereby making the most correct decision so that no one will regret later.
What should an adulterer in thought do if he is forgiven?
As mentioned, the fact that the issue of adultery in the mind should be forgiven is not an issue you need to be too concerned about. The important thing is that if you are forgiven, how you both need to treat each other, how to get back to the way it was. Especially those who have had an affair need to try ten times more to ease the hurt of their partner.
If, after forgiveness, one person lives in hurt, no longer trusts his partner, always takes that as an excuse to criticize while the other person always lives in sin, continues the marriage relationship because of responsibility. both really need to be reconsidered. Sometimes, if you really don’t trust each other, giving each other their own way is the best way for everyone to be happy.
So, if the adulterer in thought is forgiven, what should he do to atone and mend the relationship between husband and wife?
- Sincerely apologize to your partner and take the time to express your sincerity
- Make sure to have terminated the relationship with the 3rd person, no longer keep in touch or think about that person
- Spend time taking care of the family, helping your spouse with household chores
- Change the atmosphere in the family by eating out, going to places where both of you celebrate or go on a trip to warm up your feelings.
- Talk and openly share problems with your partner. In particular, you can share the reason why you feel infatuated with others so that both of you can have a more suitable direction of change. For example, a wife, because her husband is too busy, does not have time to care for her like when she was in love, so she feels lonely and when someone else cares about her every little detail, she will easily fall. Directly sharing issues will help both understand each other better, change for each other to create a longer-term bond.
- If you already have children, it is entirely possible to rely on your child’s support to heal the family’s feelings. Children are the strongest bond between husband and wife so that both can accept change and give each other another chance.
On the other hand, spouses who have accepted forgiveness should not use this issue to criticize the other too many times. Let’s slowly build and rebuild trust between the two of you. The fact that you always use the past to bully your partner will only make the couple more distant, and it will be difficult to return to the way they were at the beginning. Once you decide to forgive, put the past aside and don’t remember it, because this will only make you suffer.
Adultery in the thought of whether to forgive or not needs to be answered by the insider, each person has a thought and personality, it is difficult to confirm anything. Both of you should spend some alone time, have a frank conversation with each other, admit your shortcomings, acknowledge each other’s good points, and then have the most suitable solution.